tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated  on line 151
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tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
tag_error <txp:poe_bbclone/> ->  : Function eregi() is deprecated  on line 88
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Stones: Mich sorgt die zukünftige Vergangenheit

Stones: Mich sorgt die zukünftige Vergangenheit

Mich sorgt die zukünftige Vergangenheit

Kurz vorm Einschlafen lauschte ich gestern noch einmal dem Radio und da überraschte mich Radio Paradiso, nach eigenem Bekunden der erste Sender, der klimaneutral sendet, mit Enigma’s return to innocence. Wie vom Blitz getroffen hatte ich dieses seit Jahren nicht mehr gesehene Video vor Augen und sah den alten Mann am Ende seines Lebens rückwärts durch die Zeit schreiten, bis er wieder zu dem kleinen Jungen mit den großen Augen wurde, der an seiner saftigen Birne rummatschte.
Das war einer dieser Momente, bei denen ich emotional werde und wofür ich mich hasse, weil es weder einen objektiven Grund dafür noch eine glaubhafte Rechtfertigung für den Fall gab, dass mich jemand in diesem Zustand vorgefunden hätte.
Nach kurzem, aber angestrengtem Grübeln kam mir der Gedanke, den Grund vielleicht in dem entspannten, einfachen und scheinbar heilen Leben zu suchen, welches im eklatanten Widerspruch zu meiner Wahrnehmung meines eigenen steht. Es ist nun nicht so, dass mein Leben furchtbar kompliziert oder anstrengend wäre und doch kann ich mich nicht von der Last der Erinnerungen an Dinge befreien, die sich im Laufe der Jahre ereignet haben und mit deren Ausgang ich absolut unzufrieden bin. Das sind kleine Dinge und große Dinge und allen gemein ist, dass es keine Chance gibt, sie noch einmal zu ändern und ich sie wohl auf ewig als leise Vorwürfe in meinem Hinterkopf mit rumtragen werde. Und da akkumuliert sich immer mehr über die Jahre. Klar, ich bin nicht der Einzige, der sich in einem schwachen Moment mit seiner Vergangenheit rumplagt, das machen wohl viele, aber der Gedanke bietet sicher wenig Trost, wenn ich mit 80 unterm Birnenbaum liege und mich mit meiner eigenen Vergangenheit auseinaderzusetzen habe. Nietzsche würde jetzt wieder sagen: hey, komm runter, es gibt keinen Grund für ein schlechtes Gewissen, die Moral als solche wurde von Herrschern und Pfaffen erfunden, um die Kräfte des Volkes in eine ihnen genehme Richtung zu kanalisieren, während sie sich selbst als Inkarnation desgleichen darüber stehend betrachten, aber ich müßte dann sagen: hey, so bin ich nunmal sozialisiert, das werde ich auch so schnell nicht mehr los.
Was ist also das Fazit? Auf das Vergessen bauen? Das tat ich bisher, doch dummerweise sammeln sich meine Fehlleistungen auf dem Punktekonto schneller an, als ich sie vergessen kann. Keine Fehler mehr machen? Das schließt meine menschliche Natur a posteriori aus. Gnädiger mit mir selbst sein? Das ist mal ein brauchbarer Gedanke, dem man weiter nachgehen sollte, aber ich werde den Verdacht nicht los, dass das auch nur eine Form der Vedrängung wäre. Vielleicht bringt ja die Kombination dieser Ansätze mit massiver Ablenkung etwas.

28. März 2007, 11:01 von Andreas Jahn

Kommentare

  1. Ganz im Gegenteil, jeder Fehler bringt Dich weiter und ist als positive Buchung auf dem Konto “Erfahrung” zu betrachten. Schon vergessen? “Wir leben, um uns selbst – und den Rest der Menschheit – ständig zu verbessern.” Für Fehler solltest Du Dich also nicht schämen, sondern sagen: Aha, so geht’s nicht, nächstes Mal anders.
    Im übrigen könntest Du Dich auch darüber freuen, dass die Coolness-Effizienz-und-Profit-Gesellschaft Dich noch nicht völlig entmenschlicht hat und Dein Gehirn noch zum Produzieren von Emotionen fähig ist.

    Antenne    31. März 2007, 21:17    #
  2. Ach komm, was sind schon Fehlleistungen? Es geht doch nicht darum, keine Fehler zu machen, sondern zu leben. Und angesichts des bevorstehenden Todes erscheinen die meisten Fehler im Leben wohl wie pillepalle und bieten den Stoff, über den man auf dem Totenbett lacht.

    Henny    1. April 2007, 08:40    #
  3. Ach und noch was: Wenn du keine Fehler machen würdest, wärst du doch schon mit 30 fertig mit dem Leben. Und was machst du dann mit den restlichen 60 Jahren? Dein Geld für gemeinnützige Zwecke stiften? Auf Wohltätigkeitsveranstaltungen rumhängen? Dir deine wohlausgesuchte Frau und deine wohlgeratenen Kinder beim Sonntagskaffee anschauen?

    Henny    1. April 2007, 08:44    #
  4. Bei den Fehlleistungen hatte ich mehr an dass Zwischenmenschliche gedacht und weniger an meine Karriere oder ähnliches. Aber es stimmt wohl auch hier, dass Übung den Meister und Irrtümer einem zum Weisen machen. Schade nur, dass sich die beruhigendne Antworten immer dann zu verstecken pflegen, wenn man sie gerade braucht.

    Andreas    1. April 2007, 12:08    #

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